Saturday, January 22, 2011

You know you want to see this!

So in my last post I mentioned that I had surgery. Make that unexpected, unannounced, totally-mess-up-my-schedule surgery.

I was having some pain in my left side, off and on. For about a year or so? I dunno. I do know that I'm very good at ignoring these types of things.

A few weeks ago the pain got pretty intense. We assumed it was a kidney stone, as I've had those painful little buggers in the past. I took some Motrin. Drank some water. Took some more Motrin. And passed out for the night.

The next morning I KNEW something more serious was happening, so we went off to the ER. Can I just say that IV Morphine is a gift from Heaven? I went from doubled-over in pain to not having a care in the world...

I'm usually good at reading people's faces. This is especially true when an ultrasound tech has squirted clear jelly all over my abdomen and looks like she's about to either:
1) cry
2) vomit
3) make a quick phone call to the Guiness Book people

Everything else is pretty much a blur. The rest of the day included words like "cyst", "ovary", "cat scan", and "surgery", along with a really fun ambulance ride to a bigger and better hospital where they specialize in Guiness Book-type things.

So here's the fun part. I got a copy of the pathology report the other day.

The normal pre-menopausal ovary is 3.5cm x 2cm x 1.5cm.

My ovary was 9.8cm x 7.5cm x 6cm.

I'd love to tell you that the items in the photo are the actual things, but no :( Much to my chagrin, they wouldn't let me bring it home in a jar. So I did the next best thing......Since 95% of us are most likely visual learners, the logical solution was to make clay models (afterall, most of you are from the US and probably have no clue how big a centimeter is. Remember when we were in 5th grade and they decided we needed to learn the metric system and then changed their minds because no one got it? I digress...)

So here's the problem. The normal size ovary model is accurate. My ovary? I RAN OUT OF CLAY! It should be 3 cm taller and 4 cm deeper. But I'm sure you get the idea.

Yeah, I'm recovering. Slowly but surely. I still have that triathlon goal and I think I'm off to a great start. Today I took a shower and I didn't need a nap afterward. THAT is progress!

P.S. It's always an interesting scenario when your child finds you playing with clay and says, "Cool, mom! Can I make an ovary too?"


shnnfrmn said...

Wow! is all I have to say. Now was the report showing the size of your ovary or the size of the cyst on the ovary. Sorry just curious for clarification! LOL. Doesn't really matter. Hope your feeling better real soon. You will be running in no time and doing your yoga and whatever else your always doing. Once again nice pic by the way. At first it looked like you used mushed up hot dogs to make those molds.

Jennifer said...

There were actually two dermoid cysts, similar in size, on the ovary. It was not possible to remove the cysts and keep the ovary, so they removed everything. These measurements are for a combination of everything - ovary + 2 cysts.

No hot dogs - Sculpey clay!